


Catch Me If I Fall

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Home [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3803902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "Star Trek Into Darkness," Jim and Bones help each other heal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me If I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Just stick this somewhere in the almost-year between Jim not being dead and the start of the five-year mission.

“Was it Scotty’s idea to get Spock, or yours?”

Jim went still at Bones’s quiet question, setting his cup of coffee down by the sink. The other man was at the stove scrambling replicated eggs, his back to Jim like the question had been a casual one. The tension in his shoulders, however, made it clear how serious it really was.

Technically, Jim was seeing a Starfleet-mandated therapist, but he’d stopped trusting them with anything that mattered after Tarsus. Bones probably _should_ be seeing a therapist, but he’d said he’d rather perform surgery on himself than talk about his feelings to a stranger. 

So they had a deal, just between them. Any time a jagged bit of something worked its way to the surface, the other listened and responded as honestly as they could. It was far from perfect, but there were some things he and Bones were only capable of admitting to each other.

Now, Jim leaned back against the edge of the counter. “Scotty’s.” He let out a breath, memories flickering at the edges of his vision. “He wanted to get you, first. Started shouting at me the second I crawled out of there about how much of an idiot I was.” As he yelled, tears had been running down the engineer's face. “You would have been proud.”

Bones didn’t say anything for a moment, shoulders even tighter than they had been, and finally he reached over and turned off the burner. He still didn’t look at Jim. “You told him not to get me.” The words were hard, the pain in them far worse than the anger.

Jim looked up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to pretend his eyes weren’t stinging. “I couldn’t say goodbye to you. It was hard enough as it was.” He turned back to Bones. “You … you would have been too much.”

Bones’s shoulders sagged suddenly, and he scrubbed a hand across his face. He finally turned to look at Jim, his face open and raw. “But Spock wasn’t?”

Jim crossed the room without conscious command from his brain, fitting himself against Bones’s back and sliding his arms around his middle. “Spock’s got less of me. He needs someone to teach him about this whole friendship thing, and he wasn’t lucky enough to have you showing him the ropes.”

He closed his eyes, pressing his lips against Bones’s neck as his voice dropped to a whisper. “But seeing you cry, knowing that I was the one who’d done that to you … it would have broken me open, and I was having a hard enough time keeping it together. I know it was probably selfish of me, but I couldn’t do it.”

When Bones moved, Jim thought he was pulling away for a second. But he just turned around in Jim’s arms, wrapping him up in a hug tight enough to probably put blood flow at serious risk. When Bones buried his face in his neck, Jim could feel the wetness on his cheeks.

Jim closed his eyes, holding on as hard as he could. “I never have words big enough for you,” he murmured, voice rough.  “Spock did something stupid to save my life, just like I’d done something stupid to save his. But you….”

He felt his own eyes fill, throat tightening with a rush of emotion. He’d spent most of his life running away from feeling too much, straight into the arms of someone who made him feel absolutely everything. It was either horrible irony, or more proof that he was the luckiest bastard who’d ever lived. “You brought me back from the _dead_ , just so I could come back and keep making your life harder. How the hell do I fit how I feel about that into words?”

Bones squeezed him even tighter, as if they both knew they were the only thing holding the other upright. “You don’t need to.”

“I couldn’t tell you goodbye, either.” He pressed his face against Bones’s hair. “I probably won’t ever be able to. I’m sorry.”

Bones let out a shuddering breath. “Well,” he managed finally, voice a wreck. “I clearly can’t tell you goodbye, either. So it’s not like I can yell at you for it.”

Jim’s laugh was wet. “That’s okay,” he whispered. “Yell at me all you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my weekly posts and original short fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


End file.
